writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
