in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
