No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
