This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize