You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
