Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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