UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
