All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
