I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
