Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
