You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize