I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
