i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
you had me at cake vodka
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
