dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
