I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
