Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
