Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
