Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
