so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
