Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
