We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
