yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
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