Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
