their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
