Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
