your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
