The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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