we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
