And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
