what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
