Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
