38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
