I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize