Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
