Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize