What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
