Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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