Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
