It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
