My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
her vagine was all disorganized.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
