I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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