Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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