I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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