when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
