so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
