i just google imaged poop.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
