So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
