I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
