grandma shit on top of the toilet
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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