You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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