Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
