I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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