I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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