White coat. Heels.
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize