I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
