what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
