is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
