Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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