non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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