so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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