Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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