so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
