Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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