i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
