Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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