I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We need to rekindle our bromance
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
