Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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